So this is kind of a serious post, but I want all of your guys' thoughts and guidance. So please give it freely.
Today I had a visitor, this visitor was a woman. I had met her before, and on top of it all she's a member of the church, she's actually in our ward. I've run into her few times on our floor in the computer lab. Long story short, she knocked on my door this afternoon and brought me some barbeque chicken and cookies. Very thoughtful! Here's my concern, almost the entire time I felt very uncomfortable about the visit and I could sense the spirit almost saying, 'Be careful'. She supposedly lives in the building next to mine. I asked her where she lived so I could return her dishes when she was leaving. She was adament about visiting me again and picking them up. I don't like the fact that she knows where I live. I'm worried she's received the impression that I want to be good friends. She's single and lives alone with her cat. She wants to bring her cat over to meet me, and I feel like I've put myself into this big hole with my tendancy to be overly friendly.
Ryan and I have brainstormed a game plan. I wonder what your guys' independent thoughts would be about the situation. Am I am being to skeptical? Am I jumping the gun. Is this just a nice daughter of God trying to help out? Should I be more trusting?
With the baby coming, and the idea of actually spending quite sometime home alone. If there is a lesson to be learned here I want to learn it right, and learn it fast.
11 comments:
Heath,
I'd be interested in hearing what the game plan includes. I think that any time someone makes you uncomfortable in such a way, you have the right to listen to that and react carefully. Cookies can be nice, but do you wonder why she made you a meal? Barbecue chicken? That isn't exactly your normal "drop in and say hello" snack. I think if you feel you should be friends with her, be friends with her while Ryan is home and leave it at that. Maybe don't do it at your house either...the idea of people knowing where you live without you telling them kind of creeps me out. Those are my two cents, but just really, listen to what you're feeling. Even if she is the sweetest of ladies, the fact that you felt uncomfortable definitely says something.
I think your caution is warranted. This is not a normal way to strike up a friendship. Is she a threat? Too soon to tell. Is she a person in need? Probably. I wouldn't close the door at this stage, but also would not open it widely. Baby steps. Small, short opportunities for interaction would be my plan in the short term. Given the imminent arrival of the baby, I'd surely prohibit the visit of the cat--allergies, germs, hair, etc...all bad things for a baby. Good luck! Love, Dad M
I'm with Emily & Dad - If you're uncomfortable around her, you definitely don't need to welcome her into your home, especially with a newborn....and BBQ chicken? hmmmmm. Not sure what to think about that. Dad's probably right- she's probably just lonely. But, you can be friendly to her without being inviting - I'd like to hear the game plan too! Good luck - keep us posted!
Thanks guys! You're the best, I appreciate your thoughts a lot. Ryan had a good point that it's one thing for him to let her into our place when he's home. But when I'm alone, I should avoid letting anyone into our house. Ry has been great, he's been helping me brainstorm. He thought of everything to buying a sound proof door (which I thought was kind of funny... buy a whole new door.) My plan for the mean time is to try and give it sometime. If she tries to come by again randomly, I won't answer it, I'll say.. "I just got out of the shower...can't talk". I don't want to sound judgemental, but whenever I see her, she is extremely dirty. She's always wearing the same thing - and it's covered in cat hair...badly. She is home all day, no job and not going to school. I can't help but think how is this person paying for her apartment? I'll keep you guys posted.
yikes. hope the chicken didn't have cat hair in it!!!!!!!!!!!! (not that you ate it!)
Well Heath, difficult situation. I have met people before who made me very uncomfortable only to find out they actually wonderful people. She doesn't sound like someone you might normally hang with but I think Pete hit it when he said she is probably the one in need. On the other hand you did feel to be cautious...I would do just that, be cautious. I'm sure all will work out. Remember also, you have a peep hole right? Do'nt feel obligated to open.
Mark, did you just call dad Pete? Ha, weird.
Thanks Mark, good call. I do have the peep hole. It will come in handy. That is what makes things tricky, if she is in need I want to be there. Everyone needs a friend, and I am willing to be friends with anyone. I just want to make sure her intentions were such. Something about the entire situation though, really does seem a little fishy. Thanks for your thought Mark!
I was wondering the same thing...when did you start calling our parents by their first name? Funny, mark!
Here's my bet...Mark has been in the library all day (or, perhaps has been playing the guitar)...Libby added the comment.
p.s. Nice to see all the support of Heather's situation!
this is mark. the rest is imitation.
we need more background...have u talked with her before, been warm, etc??
in your ward..thats a good sign.
I have had this same issue with the scary moroccan punks in southern spain. they were saintly in the end. its so hard to discern sometimes. If I had advice itd be to cautiously learn more. good luck heath!!!
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